Week Nine Homework:
Before the days of Troma, when movie producers didn’t try to purposely make bad movies, there were two kinds of bad movies.
There were movies that are bad in the conventional sense. They may have had ridiculous premises, poor acting, boring dialogue, etc – or some combination. The confluence of those factors made the movie difficult to watch. The Karate Kid 2 would be a good example.
Then there were the other kind of bad movies. The kind that had such over-the-top poor acting or such a ridiculous storyline, but not in a self-conscious way, that it quickly became a classic (well, to me anyway). The Karate Kid 3 would be a good example.
My point, as it relates my homework reading assignment is that Skeletor’s piece was The Karate Kid 2, while Natalie’s was The Karate Kid 3.
Manuscript #1 – Skeletor’s “Family Issues” was an essay about her sister’s bad marriage, and how it affected her relationship with her sister.
Poor writing aside, I’m not sure anyone’s going to want to read a memoir about Skeletor’s family squabble. (Unless several members die in a later chapter.) Sure, it was sad to read about her sister’s bad marriage and how Skeletor lent her sister money because her sister’s husband had a gambling problem (maybe her sister should be writing the memoir...or her hubby). And yes, it was terrible that her sister never repaid her, causing said squabble, which resulted in her being estranged from her sister, nieces, and nephews for several years. And certainly, it’s never a good thing when your mother is forced to choose which sister to invite to holiday dinners. But that’s what daytime TV is for. I’m sure Jerry Springer or Maury would be more than happy to spring for airline tickets for the entire clan to fight it out on their shows for 20 minutes. I don’t think people would want to read 300 pages about it.
I did enjoy the part when her, her sister, and her mother were yelling at each other at once. I wish I knew who was doing the yelling and whom she was yelling at…
“You
can’t talk to me like that!”
“Don’t talk to her like that!”
“Since when do I take orders from you?!?”
“I’ll talk to you any way I please! And you can’t say
anything!”
“I’m going to say my piece and you’re going to listen!
That, I promise you!”
“I don’t think so! I’m leaving!”
“So am I!”
“Good riddance!”
She has a way of writing! Don’t you think?!?
Manuscript #2 – Move over Dostoevsky…make room for Natalie. I’ve never read Crime and Punishment but I can’t imagine it being a better page-turner than “A Mail Order Bride.” This was about another one of Natalie’s seven sisters (her first manuscript from Week 6 was “My Sister”). The sad part about the manuscript is that the story would probably be incredible and highly publishable…if it were ghostwritten.
Her sister Larisa definitely had a noteworthy life - born on a farm, moved to the city at age fifteen by herself, got arrested by Germans during WW2, moved to the U.S. as a mail order bride. Her husband died after three months leaving her penniless and unable to speak the native language. She found another husband, he died, her sad trip back home. While not the kind of story I’d normally read, Natalie’s narration managed to keep my interest throughout…
“She worked in German kitchen. Not because she wanted to but because they kept a gun to her head. Not literal gun, but figurative gun.”
“When going to Berlin, the train was halted due to bombs in Berlin. They took opportunity to see movie.”
“She took second class ship to America. Feeling seasick and throwing up entire trip, she felt relief when she spotted his bald head among waiting crowd.”
“Her hobbies included knitting, crocheting and sewing.”
“She died of a brain tumor. She had operation to correct brain tumor but she died anyway. The tumor was stronger than the operation.”
God, I’m going to miss Natalie.