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Recommendation

By Chris Fara1

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To Whom It May Concern:

I write this letter on behalf of Clarissa Fairmont, who has been my lawfully wedded for the past three years. In the time that I have known her she has become a remarkable lover, as well as an esteemed domestic partner. She is quite the multi-tasker - with fine tastes in white wines, handbags, and even nightclubs. It is painful to see her leave, but I’m confident that she will continue her hard work in any household that welcomes her.

Clarissa has changed quite a but since coming to Manhattan. Diet and discipline have become integral in her life, and she has taken to waxing in desirable places. Her breasts and lips are noticeably larger, and she spends most of the day toning her centerfold figure. When she retreats from the spa – Rissa visits her wonderful friends, all of whom enjoy having her over for slumber parties almost every night.

Due to her hectic schedule, Clarissa and I have never spent much time together. She works well without constant reinforcement, and can always be reached on her cell phone. Actual sexual encounters are infrequent, and strategically planned around the holidays, but are nonetheless worth every last diamond. Oral sex is also not out of the question, and she gets particularly frisky on secluded tropical vacations.

The bottom line is that Clarissa is unique for her caliber of woman. She not only hasn’t taken a serious liking to cocaine yet, but she will even occasionally remain sober at family functions. Screaming hasn’t been an option since her Botox treatments, which take her to Boca Raton in the winters. Don’t expect to see her until the spring, when she loves going to the beach house to prepare for the summer. In East Hampton, Clarissa has tremendous rapport with the help, including the landscapers, who she monitors closely every day.

I can also attest to the fact that Clarissa has more money than a monopoly set. She’ll still need some more down the line, but the first two weeks of every month should be relatively hands-off. What a gem – I’ll never forget our first kiss at the Tiffany’s counter. To ice the cake she has extensive training in gymnastics, and I recommend her for any position that you may have in mind.

In summary, Clarissa Fairmont is the right woman for the job, whether it be hand, blow, or boob. She’s a hard worker who gets what she wants at all times, but appreciates every last luxury. Please feel free to contact me if there are any further questions regarding this matter. Video clips and stills are available upon request.

Sincerely,

Douglas Spindelmeyer
Chief Executive Officer
Spindelmeyer, Shitzelfinger, and Clark

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Chris FARA1 is a writer living in New York City.  He can be reached at fara1andonly@netscape.net.

© 2004 Me Three