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2.16.06Pond Scum: Another Day of Death
Bt Steve Finbow
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It is 1061, and the Arab rule of Sicily is almost over. The emirs finally defeated by the Normans – no, not Schwarzkopf, Mailer, and Rockwell – but the Norsemen (Vikings). Over a hundred years earlier, through their leader Rollo, the Normans had sworn allegiance to the King of France, the brilliantly named Charles the Simple – or Chuck Dumb. What happened to the Arabs? Did the Normans put them to the broadsword? Did they line them up on the seafront, run them through with leaf-shaped spear blades, and drown them in the harbour at Messina? Did they drag them to the forests, hang them from mighty oaks and watch the dead bodies sway gently in the Mistral? No. The Norman conquerors and the vanquished Arabs lived peacefully together, sharing their knowledge of food (it was the Arabs who invented pasta, not the Chinese – Marco Polo suffered from poor translators, apparently), farming, seafaring, geography, and the arts. Abu Abdallah Muhammad ibn Idris, an Arab writer in the court of the Arabophile Norman emperor Roger II, wrote a book that synthesized Christian and Islamic culture. The book was The Delight of One Who Loves Travelling around the World, which reminds me of the army posters that read "Join the Army and See the World" and brings me nicely to recent events.
By Nicholas Allanach
It is 2004, and the American/British occupation of Iraq is in its second year. A crowd of youths on a rubble-strewn road throw chunks of plaster, hunks of asphalt, and broken bricks at a group of British soldiers. A homemade grenade explodes. The soldiers give chase. It looks like an episode of Scooby-Doo: the youths are the fleeing gang, on the run, swift of foot. The soldiers – encumbered by their uniforms, kit packs, and weaponry – lumber after them like be-masked zombie fairground workers. Somehow, the soldiers manage to capture four of the rioters. It begins with a head-butt. It goes on from there. It ends with a desecrated Iraqi corpse. This incident in Basra is caught on video. The commentary accompanying the images makes it more shocking; throughout the video, a British Army corporal shouts encouragement. Is it as horrific as Abu Ghraib? Probably not. Is it as gruesome as Guantanamo Bay? Not really. The group of British soldiers is pissed off and looking for a fight. Ask anyone who goes into pubs in Aldershot and they will tell you the video resembles CCTV surveillance of their town on a Friday or Saturday night. The video reflects the lack of understanding among soldiers as to why American and British armies are in Iraq. Adding insult to injury, it also suggests an ignorance of Islamic/Arabic culture.
It is 2005, and a Danish newspaper, Jyllands-Posten, publishes cartoons showing the prophet Muhammad in various guises; in one, he is wearing a missile-shaped turban. Since the Muslim outcry, which took a while to find its voice, the West has entangled itself in censorship knots. OK. It is free speech. But is it free speech if it offends? It is satire. But is it satire if it incites racial hatred? Are the cartoons any different in effect from Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal? Well, yes, because they are not very funny nor are they very intelligent – look at Steve Bell’s cartoons in The Guardian for spot-on political satire. The British and American governments have condemned the Danish newspaper involved for publishing the cartoons and yet somehow do not think that having tens of thousands of allied troops stationed in Iraq is offensive to Muslims who live there. Gary Younge has written an excellent article in The Nation on this subject.
It is 2006, and 2,500 coalition soldiers have died in Iraq; nowhere near the 30,000 civilians estimated killed over the same period. There is no end in sight to the occupation. Suicide bombers continue to murder, maim, and destroy. Iraqi fighters and foreign insurgents, whether al-Qaeda or not, continue their battle against coalition forces and the Iraqi police and army. Hillary Clinton hawks it up in her effort to become the first female American president. (God knows how far right Condoleezza will lurch to combat that shift in policy.) Never a frown Gordon Brown – the next British prime minister – rolls up his sleeves and talks about security and terrorism, while in my neighbourhood gangs from North London fight turf wars resulting in numerous near-fatal stabbings and three deaths; the latest, Mahir Osman, 18 – killed on February 25th outside Camden Town Tube station during a pitch battle involving 30 Somali youths – came to Britain from Mogadishu, Somalia; these kids are, potentially, a lost generation of disaffected Muslims.
It is 1945, American troops are in Sicily flashing the cash. The currency, inscribed with Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s four freedoms, buys them pasta con le sarde, cannoli, and Marsala. The four freedoms: Freedom of religion, Freedom of speech, Freedom from want, Freedom from fear. Oh, really? Freedom of religion – Abu Hamza imprisoned for his fundamentalist Islamic views. Freedom of speech – the government puts pressure on newspapers to not re-print the Danish cartoons. Freedom from want – after 13 years of sanctions and nearly three years of occupation, many Iraqis are still malnourished and without an adequate water supply. Freedom from fear – where?
It is February 14th 2006 – Valentines Day. As Chaucer wrote in Parliament of Foules:
For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.And wouldn’t it be nice if the doves and hawks got together and made it up. Let’s send Iraq a big box of chocolates wrapped in a red bow with lots of hearts and kisses, a bottle of sparkling wine (actually, on second thoughts…), and a Teddy bear wearing an “I Heart Iraq” badge. Yeah, right. This is more like it:
It is February 14th 1929, and inside a Chicago warehouse are the bodies of seven well-dressed men. Lined up against the wall, cut down by machine-gun fire, the men’s bodies litter the garage floor covered in blood. This was the St Valentine’s Day Massacre. For the murdered men, read the Iraqi people. For the escaped Bugs Moran, read Osama bin Laden. For Jack ‘Machine Gun’ McGurn, read Tony Blair. And, finally, for Al Capone, read George W Bush. Dear readers, my sense of humour, hopefully, will return in a fortnight. Oh, no, sorry, it’s back – I love the idea of a Britain conquered by the Normans: Bates, Greenbaum, and Wisdom.
Click here to read previous Pond Scum columns.
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Click here for Steve Finbow's bio and a list of works published.
© 2006 Me Three
