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Obscure Country Profile #4: San Marino
By Alex Urevick
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October 7th, 1996; a day that the world will never forget. This was the day that San Marino put its signature on the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, finally putting to rest the grave fears that this tiny nation would try to parlay its powerful stamp-printing and coin-minting industries into a full fledged nuclear arsenal. The country had been in the hands of Communists on and off since 1947, and the international community feared that the Soviet Union would try to place nuclear weapons in this strategically significant location. Luckily for the U.S. and NATO, no room could be found to place the missiles, since San Marino is only 24 square miles, roughly 30% of the size of Washington D.C., and only 8 miles across at its widest point. This is even more fortunate due to the fact that San Marino is located in, and completely surrounded by, North-Eastern Italy.
San Marino’s size wasn’t the only obstacle to placing a nuclear weapon inside the townish country. There was also the question of how one would import the deadly devices. One source tells me that at one point there was a plot to sneak the device through the nearby Italian coastal town of Rimini. But the attempt was thwarted when the Russians landed in the town and found it full of aging, hairy, flabby Italian men playing bocce. The site of just a few of these bikini clad seniors was enough to send the Ruskies running back to Moscow; many suffered from mental disorders for years after what they saw. Later, there were a few more attempts to transport the Nukes by car (but the few roads leading in and out of the country were too narrow), by plane (there were, and still are no, airports), and by train (the one rail line into the country, built by Mussolini, was bombed by the allies in WWII and never rebuilt). With all their options exhausted the Russians abandoned their hopes for forward deployed Nukes in San Marino, and with the signing of the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty the threat of a nuclear San Marino could finally be put to rest.
image
courtesy graphicmaps.com
Unfortunately nukes are not the only worry of the world community when it comes to the renegade San Marino. Expenditures on its military rose to an astounding $700,000 in 2001, bringing it above Iceland and Sao Tome to 168th in military expenditures out of 170 countries, and making it an alarming 1,200 men strong, raising fears that it might enter into an arms race with Moldova or the Vatican. There is also the fear that San Marino might raise production on its collectible stamps or coins in an attempt to flood and crash the world’s collectable markets. Finally, some economists feared that San Marino was withholding its valuable natural resource of stone from the world market. That is until they found out that the resource had been exhausted years ago.
For now, all is peaceful in this tiny enclave of 28,000 souls, but if we are to prepare for the possibility that San Marino might one day rise and threaten the world we must take a minute to examine the place.
Legend has it that San Marino was founded around the year A.D. 301 - which would make it the world’s oldest republic - by a Christian stonemason named Marinus who was fleeing persecution from the anti-Christian Roman Emperor Diocletian. Marinus hid himself on the slopes of Mount Titano and formed a community out of other Christians who were fleeing Roman persecution. The country was originally composed of just Mount Titano, but expanded in 1463 to include the neighboring towns of Fiorentino, Montegiardino and Serraville. The country has been occupied only twice in its history, once in 1503 by Cesare Borgia, and once in 1739 by Cardinal Alberoni. Both occupations lasted only a few months. Napoleon recognized San Marino’s independence when he invaded Italy, and the Congress of Vienna likewise confirmed its independence in 1815. San Marino was admitted to the U.N. in 1992 and holds diplomatic relations with the few countries that believe it really exists.
San Marino’s economy was in the past based primarily, as I have mentioned, on its stamp-printing and coin-minting operations. Since it uses the Euro as its official currency the coins are made solely for the purpose of collectibles. In recent years its tax-haven status and tourism have become central to San Marino’s economy, as 3 million people per year make the trek from the nearby Italian coast to shop duty-free and laugh at the fact that a country so small is allowed to exist. The country is made up of nine municipalities, and also has a nine party system that elects two new co-presidents, called captains regents, every six months. The country has one television station and three FM radio stations. Fortunately, the Sammarinese, as they are called, speak Italian and receive Italian stations, so they can turn the channel when that bitch Opera is on. They also have telephones, so if you don’t believe that it’s a country go ahead and give them a call and ask, but don’t be surprised if they curse you out in Italian.
The country boasts a FIFA soccer club, though out of the 63 games they’ve played since their inception they have lost 60 and won none. Luckily, the three ties that the country earned were enough to make it the fastest riser on the FIFA leader board in 2002, bringing them to a respectable 158 out of 204 teams, which is still the lowest ranked club in Europe, but higher than such other countries' teams as Guam and Afghanistan. One day soon the Sammarinese team hopes to get a win, and with a little luck maybe they will! Even if they only get a tie they’ll be praised as national heroes, as they were for fighting mighty Liechtenstein to a 1-1 draw.
Yes, sir, if I were you I'd root for San Marino. As you have probably already surmised, you can hardly afford not to.
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Alex Urevick is a student at the New School's Graduate Faculty of Political and Social Science. He can be contacted at [email protected].
©
2003 Me Three